Review: Season 2, Episode 4

I have been waiting for such a long time to write this episode. It wasn’t necessarily my earliest idea, but I knew from the moment I thought of it that it was a story that needed to be told. For the longest time, whenever I tried to think to the future of this series, this was almost always the episode that my thoughts drifted to first. It’s hard to explain exactly why that is. I believe I’ve said before that growth and coming of age is one of the greatest overarching themes of this series, and even in the canon, Tails has long been the representative of that idea. Everyone grows up over time, and in this series, Tails is no exception. Knowing that he would one day, years from now, be grown into a mature adult, I suppose I always saw this episode as a vital transition point. If there will ever be a moment where you can say that Tails grew up, it will be this episode. Sonic has long kept him in a world of black-and-white—we’re the good guys, and we fight the bad guys. But on this day, Tails was pushed into a much greyer world. And, more to the point, it was a reflection of Sonic who gave him that push.

And I suppose this is the part where I talk about Metal Sonic. That big twist at the end…wasn’t necessarily part of the original plan. I suppose I must give credit where credit is due. Usually in this series, I try to make everything my own. When it comes to new ideas and big reveals that were never a part of the original games, I have to dig deep to put the pieces together, and form my own ideas about what does and doesn’t work in the established world of Sonic. It’s rare that I become truly inspired by another person’s theories or headcanons, but this would be one of those instances. When I saw The Sega Scourge’s “Metal Sonic is Sonic, Roboticized” video, I was inspired—not because the theory was particularly convincing, but because it added so much weight and meaning to Metal Sonic’s long history that wasn’t there before. And weight and meaning are exactly the primary factors I consider when writing in such ideas. It’s not enough to have an interesting idea if it doesn’t add anything to the greater context, but this most certainly did. I started wondering immediately if there was a way I could make this admittedly outlandish theory work in my favor. And when I considered what that big reveal would add to this particular episode, I was sold.

Unfortunately, while the story of Tails and Metal Sonic was well planned and put together, the rest was not so much. As often as I thought ahead to this episode, I never muched considered how it could be made any more than one long, slightly boring conversation. A rescue party going after them was obvious of course, but what wasn’t obvious was how to make that relevant. Sonic running off to rescue Tails without any other kind of conflict or moral just wouldn’t have been interesting. At first I thought, with how I’ve been setting up a rivalry between Omega and Metal Sonic, it would be reasonable to have Omega go with him, and I could go through with some of the Metal Sonic-related conflicts I’d been planning in that area, but then I realized…I already had an episode just like that last season. While I enjoy pairing up characters in unusual ways for episodes, I certainly didn’t want to use the same unusual pair a second time when there are so many other pairs waiting to be done. I decided on Espio instead, for fairly obvious reasons, but…there was no conflict there. Both Sonic and Espio would want the same thing, both would be very focused on the task, I wouldn’t be much better off than with Sonic on his own. I decided to compromise and go for both. I thought that I could have the primary friction be between Espio and Omega, since they clash on a more fundamental level than Sonic ever did with Omega, but…that didn’t really go anywhere. They disagreed, and then…that was it. I mean, that conflict could have been taken as a warning sign for what was to come, but it just didn’t add anything to the bulk of the episode. The only other real option would’ve been having them make up and come to a better understanding of one another by the end, which there definitely wasn’t room for with the focus on Tails. It might have been possible without having Sonic awkwardly in the middle, but I was not willing to remove Sonic from the episode when the plot was so personal to him.

There’s one other disappointment of this episode, which you may have noticed. The ending was…not exactly conclusive. What did Metal Sonic do with Omega? I didn’t say. Why did they leave him behind? I didn’t say. What were the repercussions of that decision? I didn’t say. What ever happened to Charmy becoming a doctor? I didn’t say. The problem here is, the answer to each of those questions would’ve required just one more scene tacked onto the end of the episode. As it is, I already felt like I gave up a very good ending by continuing on after the moment that Metal Sonic attacked Omega, but Sonic and Tails talking about what happened was an absolute necessity. As for the rest…most of it will be integrated into the beginning of the next episode, where it will be irrelevant and out of place and distracting from the intended plot. But that’ll still be better than ending this episode five times over.

And now, for some general trivia! (I hope to make this a tradition with future reviews.)

  • The following locations from previous Sonic games were featured in this episode:
    • Emerald Hill Zone (Sonic 2)
    • Aquatic Ruin Zone (Sonic 2)
    • Hill Top Zone (Sonic 2)
    • Mystic Cave Zone (Sonic 2) (implied)
    • Lost Labyrinth Zone (Sonic 4) (cameo appearance)
    • Metallic Madness (Sonic CD) (implied)
  • Metal Sonic’s memory featuring the Lost Labyrinth was an exact first-person recreation of a cutscene from Sonic 4 Episode Metal.
    • The artifact obtained in this scene was stated to be the source of Metal Sonic’s copy ability and shapeshifting power seen in Sonic Heroes.
      • The actual purpose/history of this artifact has never been officially confirmed. However, in-game text does pose the question, “Just how did Metal Sonic make his comeback after Sonic the Hedgehog CD?” Given that Metal Sonic’s first canon chronological comeback after CD would be in Heroes, this implies a connection between the plots of the two games.
  • Both Metal Sonic and Tails frequently refer to the events of Sonic Heroes—particularly, the battle between Team Sonic and Metal Overlord—which took place approximately five years before this episode.
  • In describing how he was betrayed by Eggman, Metal Sonic refers to the events of Sonic CD, Sonic 4 Episode Metal, and an unspecified number of Classic Sonic games which take place in between, and feature some form of mechanical Sonic.
    • As there are no such “main series” Sonic games, this must refer to more obscure titles. Sonic Triple Trouble is the most likely candidate, as it has already been Chaos-Project-canonized by the appearance of Fang in Season 1.
  • Metal Sonic frequently quotes the phrase, “I am no longer afraid of anything,” originally spoken in the opening moments of the Metal Overlord fight.
    • He quotes himself on several other occasions, including the famous “I am the one true Sonic.”
  • This episode marks the first in-universe usage of the name of one of Metal Sonic’s abilities, V. Maximum Overdrive.
    • I have no idea what the “V” stands for. Maybe velocity? Metal Sonic was also shown using the Black Shield, an ability not seen outside of the 2-player mode of Sonic Adventure 2 Battle.
  • The episode title “Before I Sleep,” combines with the title of the previous episode, “Miles to Go” (also meant to be a reference to Tails’ given name) to form the line, “Miles to go before I sleep,” a repeated phrase from the Robert Frost poem, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.”
    • While this is not a two-part episode, the related titles show that the episodes are meant to be grouped together.
    • The implication of this line is that someone is on a path towards their end (sleep), and has much to do before that time comes.
  • This episode marks the first time the Chaotix tent has been shown in an episode written by me. Its original appearance in Season 1, episodes 13 and 14, (“Out of the Shadows” parts 1 and 2) was written by a guest author.
  • When attempting to convince Tails, Metal Sonic provides the first ever CP-canon implication of a population size of Sonic’s world, giving the approximation of 10 billion.
    • Given that the real world has a population of about 8 billion, and that Sonic’s Earth typically approximates the very near future of ours, this implies that the number of animoids in Sonic’s world is somewhat less than 2 billion.
    • This number was chosen as one that is large enough to reasonably populate large-scale animoid-majority cities such as Sunset Heights, while still showing that they are vastly outnumbered by humans as implied by most other relevant games.
    • It is also notable that 10 billion is predicted as the maximum stable human population that Earth can support.
  • During a conversation with Sonic, Espio refers to himself as Charmy’s guardian. It is not specified whether this title is legal or honorary. Either way, it is a component of their relationship which has not previously been described.
  • Metal Sonic suggests that he does not remember Omega, despite having fought him as Metal Madness during the events of Sonic Heroes, as well as several prior encounters while disguised as Eggman.
    • It is possible that Metal Sonic has forgotten that particular detail, or that he was pretending not to care in order to maintain a more menacing image.
  • While it is never stated directly, Metal Sonic implies that his head may contain Sonic’s actual organic brain.
    • This is supported by his especially protective actions towards the machinery around his head.
    • A direct confirmation was avoided, partly because I may want to change my mind about that in the future, partly because the image of it might be a bit graphic for children, and partly because I felt the idea might be a bit more powerful if the reader could come up with it themselves.
  • This episode marks Espio’s first successful usage of an entirely new chakra-based Ninja Arts technique—the Shadow Sealing, which he was shown failing to do in S1 E15: In Too Deep—opening the way for him to potentially learn many more.
    • Why did I decide to give Espio magic shadow powers? I mean, he can already create a whirlwind using his fingers, so I didn’t think this would be much of a stretch.
    • Regardless, I expect any future technique he learns to be similarly underpowered. It isn’t exactly efficient to spend a minute-long fight scene drawing a seal on the ground and hoping that the enemy stands right in the middle of it without noticing.
    • What do I mean by chakra-based? That’ll be explained in a future episode.

And there we have it. Flawed though it may be, I still love this episode and all of the deep implications it presents. There’s one other interesting note here. This episode was designed with the idea in mind that the reader may have to choose a side. If Sonic is right, then every word Metal Sonic said was a convoluted attempt at psychological warfare, forcing Tails to play into his hand. But if Tails is right, then Metal Sonic is still Sonic at his core, and can be saved. So are you Team Sonic? Or Team Tails? Make your choice.

-And until next time, remember to live and learn every day!

Preview: Season 2, Episode 4

Ah, so nice to be back in the land of the living. I didn’t want to go dead silent for so long, but…sometimes, life…is a thing…that happens. But yeah, the next episode is coming, so…take a look!

? ? ?

“…”  A distant voice calls out quietly. “Tails… Tails.”

Tails lets out a groan as he struggles to open his eyes. “Sonic…?”

The mechanical voice answers, “Not quite.”

Tails lets out a sharp gasp as he opens his eyes on Metal Sonic, and his head instantly clears. He moves to crawl backwards, away from the threat, but the pain from his broken leg quickly halts that movement as he lets out a tear-filled cry.

Metal Sonic shakes his head slowly. “Such a frail little thing.”

Tightly gripping his injured leg, Tails is finally forced to look his captor in the eye. “You… What are you do–…” He trails off as he starts to look around. His back is against the wall of a dark, earthy cave, with visible light coming in through the small entrance a short distance away. A jagged line of claw marks decorates the wall opposite to him. Finally, he remembers. “Charmy… What have you done with Charmy!?”

“He’s alive. For now.” Metal Sonic takes a step closer to Tails, kneeling down to look at him at eye level. Tails nervously presses himself as far back into the wall as he can go. “And if you would like him to stay that way, you will do exactly as I say.”

In spite of his fear, Tails spits back, “You won’t get away with this. Sonic will find me, and he’ll beat you like he always does! Hopefully for good this time.”

Metal Sonic rises back to his feet, letting out a mechanical chuckle. “Sonic is far away from here. And he is hardly my most pressing concern.”

“What do you want with me?”

Metal Sonic turns away from Tails, lifting up a robotic hand close to his face, and slowly turning it over. As the hand moves, it begins to stutter. “I am damaged. I require repair.” His head turns back to face Tails. “You will repair me. Your tools will be provided.”

“You want a tune-up? Go find Eggman. I’m not helping you.”

“I believe that you will help me, Tails. And I believe that you will be happy to do it.”

“And why’s that?”

Metal Sonic lets out another long chuckle. “Because once you do, I’m going to kill Doctor Eggman for you.”

What is Metal Sonic planning? Will Tails really agree to help him? Find out, on the next exciting episode of The Chaos Project! Secrets will be revealed…

Preview: Season 2, Episode 3

Yes, that’s right. We’re skipping from 1 to 3. 2 was posted almost exactly a year ago, as the Team Sonic Racing special episode. (It wasn’t supposed to take this long to catch up…) Regardless, here is the preview.

“Hey, is this it?”

Charmy and Tails both stop. They’ve arrived at a thin valley between two peaks on either side of them. Beyond the valley is a wide crater-like depression in the ground, completely surrounded on all sides by similar peaks, making this the only clear entrance to the area. “Yeah, this is definitely it. There should be a system of volcanic caves that all open near the top here. We should go check out–”

Charmy shoots him an intense glare.

Tails innocently finishes, “…just one of them, not gonna spend all day here. If its size and depth are adequate for shelter, then that’ll be it. It’ll make this place just about perfect for a rebel base.”

“Look out!” Charmy suddenly dives into Tails, tackling them both to the floor as a bolt of energy sails over their heads. Tails lets out a cry of pain. The first shot is followed by dozens of others, a continuous stream of laser fire striking against the rock they’ve taken cover behind. Charmy panics, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Tails answers through gritted teeth, “It’s fine, I’m fine.” He looks out at some of the stray laser bolts that strike the ground behind them. “That looks like Eggman weaponry. What are Eggman’s robots doing here?”

“Could it be a trap?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Well what do we do!?”

“I don’t know, let me think!” Tails cautiously tries to peek his head over the rock, but is forced to retreat back down before he can see anything. “We definitely won’t make it out if we run for it. And there’s too many to try and fight.” He reaches up to tap his communicator. “Sonic, we–” He frustratedly taps it a few more times. “Busted. Must’ve broken in the fall.”

“What other options do we have?”

Struck by an idea, Tails pulls off his pack. “Just one.” He pulls out a shiny white med kit. “Closest thing we have to a white flag.”

 

Q&A and Farewell

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[Audience]: *applause*

[Blacklight]: Thank you, everyone, thank you. This truly has been a life-changing experience. But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. And so, without further ado, let’s hear it, Shadow! What’s the final tally?

[Shadow]: There’s only one question here.

[Blacklight]: W…w…one?

[Shadow]: Yes, as in, this is the only one.

[Blacklight]: No, no, that can’t be right! The website stats right here tell me that at least…uh…uh…twelve different people visited the site today!

[Shadow]: Huh. Twelve. That’s a lot more than the three I predicted.

[Blacklight]: Well why didn’t they ask us any questions!?

[Shadow]: Probably because most of them got here by accident…

[Blacklight]: Well…what’s the question, then?

[Shadow]: Let’s see here. Ninja100 asks…Shadow, how do you feel about your fan base? Do you like them, resent them, or what?

[Blacklight]: Are you kidding me!? Our only question is for Shadow!? Even the Team Rocket website gave me more attention!

[Shadow]: Well, I’ll just go ahead and answer, then. Personally, I don’t like to put people in boxes. Not the figurative kind, anyways.

[Blacklight]: Shadow…was that a joke?

[Shadow]: Don’t act so surprised. Anyways, just because a person calls themselves a “Shadow fan” doesn’t mean that they’re automatically cool or annoying. Of course, some people like me for the wrong reasons, as Blacklight has unfortunately already brought up. I have a special list for such people.

[Blacklight]: And since you so rudely failed to ask me, I’ll answer anyways. My fanbase is garbage, because they didn’t ask me any questions for the Q&A.

[Shadow]: Don’t you think that’s a bit presumptuous? I mean, maybe your fans just didn’t get here in time. This did all happen a bit suddenly.

[Blacklight]: Shadow, your optimistic attitude is starting to scare me.

[Shadow]: Well it doesn’t take much to do that.

[Eggman]: *clears throat*

[Blacklight]: Can I help you?

[Eggman]: We’re ready to answer our questions!

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(Yeah, let’s hear ’em! I’m ready for anything!)

[Blacklight]: Sorry, guys. No questions. Show’s over.

[Eggman]: What!?

[Bowser]: Awwww…

[Shadow]: This is the moment everyone’s been waiting for. Surely you can do something while we’re all here.

[Blacklight]: Oh, right, I almost forgot about the backup plan! Everyone get ready, ’cause we’re about to start the real main event of the night!

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(Well what is it!?)

[Blacklight]: It’s time for the big Blacklight Takeover Finale Special Guest Star Death Match!

[Eggman]: Death match?

[Blacklight]: Team Rocket couldn’t attend, but that still leaves us with a battle to the death between Shadow, Eggman, Bowser, and Movie Sonic!

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(I’m ready! Bring it on, losers!)

[Eggman]: I’m not sure this is such a good idea…

[Shadow]: I don’t think we have the insurance to cover a death match.

[Mr. C]: (offscreen) We don’t have insurance.

[Blacklight]: Everyone take your places! This will be a true contest of— Wait, where’s Movie Sonic?

[Teen Sonic]: That’s him, Tom! The guy who threw me out a window!

[Tom Wachowski]: Freeze, GHPD! I’m placing you under arrest for aggravated assault!

[Blacklight]: (walking towards Tom) Please, I’m sure this is some sort of big misunder— *shot with tranquilizer dart* (losing consciousness) I… …plead the… …fourth Chaos Emerald… *collapses on floor*

[Tom Wachowski]: (cuffing Blacklight) You have the right to remain silent.

[Teen Sonic]: Critical enough for you?

[Bowser]: Bwargh?
(What exactly is happening here?)

[Teen Sonic]: Now let’s blow this popsicle stand and go home, eh, Tom?

*Sonic and Tom exit, carrying Blacklight with them*

[Shadow]: I…think the show just ended.

[Bowser]: Bwargh.
(Welp, guess I’m going home then. What a waste of time.)
*exits*

[Eggman]: Will you be going home as well, Shadow?

[Shadow]: No…someone needs to go bail him out of jail.

[Eggman]: For someone who can’t even tolerate him, you sure are a good friend to him.

[Shadow]: One day, he’ll realize that his rash actions have consequences. But apparently, not today.

[Eggman]: You know, this whole “war-free zone” thing was actually pretty fun. We should do this again sometime. *pats Shadow on the back*

[Shadow]: If you don’t get out of here before the cameras cut, the death match might be back on.

[Eggman]: (sweating) Understood, leaving now. *exits*

[Shadow]: (to camera) And for all twelve of you who came to watch…thank you. The thought of making even one person laugh…I’m sure that made this all worth it for him. And for me. (looking up) Chaos Control!

[Mr. C]: (offscreen) I guess I’ll clean this all up myself, then…

Villain Chat! with Team Rocket

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Previously, on the Pokémon Cosmic Quest Official Website

[Blacklight]: I heard that you guys were going to talk about Sonic, and I just had to make sure that you got all your facts straight.

[James]: Trust me, I won’t be wrong.

[Blacklight]: Prove it, blue boy.

[James]: (Taunting) Okay then. Obscure Sonic trivia it is. If you want to hear something really ridiculous, Mr. Iizuka, the head of Sonic Team, claims that Sonic takes place in-

[Blacklight]: (Gritting teeth) I swear, if you try to convince me that there are two different worlds…

[James]: I never said I was going to try to convince you. It’s little more than a ridiculous fan theory from someone who happens to matter.

[Blacklight]: Wait…so…you’re not one of those people who blindly believes everything a developer says just because they can abuse their power?

[James]: Of course not! The idea that Sonic splits his time between a human world and an animal world in different games is just plain silly!

[Blacklight]: Hey guys, wanna be on the show over on my website?

[Meowth]: As… tempting… as that offer sounds, we’re way too busy here for that.

[Blacklight]: Too bad, I need one more interview session. James, you grab Meowth. I’ll grab Jessie.

[James]: (Hesitates) Um… How about you just give me a chance to convince them to come of their own free will?

[Blacklight]: Aww, that’s less fun… But I’m holding you to that!

And now, the continuation…


[Audience]: *applause*

[Blacklight]: And here we are again! Welcome back to Villain Chat! Shadow, do you think you can do it right this time?

[Shadow]: I have no idea who these people are.

[Audience]: *booing*

[Blacklight]: Well I guess I’ll do it myself. I hope everyone’s prepared for trouble. Please give a warm welcome to our latest guests, Pokémon’s famous Team Rocket Trio, Jessie, Meowth, and my bro, James!

[Audience]: *applause*

[Blacklight]: So how are we all doing tonight?

[Jessie, James, and Meowth]: Who, what, when, where, why!?

[Shadow]: So they’re from Pokémon? No wonder…

[Blacklight]: Oh, come on, everyone knows Pokémon!

[Shadow]: I don’t watch children’s anime.

[Blacklight]: Yes, of course, you only watch the “mature” anime. Like Sonic X.

[Shadow]: That doesn’t count.

[Jessie]: First off, Pokémon is so much more than a kid’s show. Second, where in the world are we!?

[Blacklight]: You guys said you would be on the show, didn’t you? You didn’t lie to me, did you, James?

[James]: (sweating profusely)  … … … …

[Shadow]: We’re being held in a talk show against our will. Just go with it.

[Meowth]: A talk show! I’ll have you know, I’m the talk show host around these parts!

[Blacklight]: Uh, no no. Shadow and I are the only hosts here.

[Eggman]: And me!

[Blacklight and Shadow]: Get out of here, Eggman!

[Meowth]: Do you even know who I am? I’m Meowth, host of the world-famous talk show, Meow we’re Talking!

[Audience]: *booing*

[Jessie]: Hey! Cut that boo-track out! No one boos Team Rocket!

[Blacklight]: You guys are on my show, now. I make the rules. I don’t play the sound clips, though. Talk to the guy behind the camera about that.

[Mr. C]: (offscreen) Sorry. I couldn’t resist.

[James]: Guys… I think we should listen to him…

[Meowth]: Why?

[Blacklight]: You see that broken window over there? That’s what happened the first time Eggman didn’t play by the rules.

[Eggman]: (through window) I highly recommend following orders.

[Jessie and Meowth]: *gulps*

[Blacklight]: So, let’s get this interview started. The show’s called Villain Chat, so we’ll be talking a little bit about evil today. For each of you: what is the most evil thing you have ever done?

[Jessie]: Oh, that’s an easy one. I once robbed a town of all its beauty supplies. They were ugly for weeks.

[Shadow]: Tch.

[Jessie]: Oh, and you’ve done better?

[Blacklight]: Oh, Shadow once tried to crash a Space Colony into the planet, wiping out all life and destroying everything. And he’s the good guy here.

[Meowth]: That’s nothing. I once split a cookie with Jessie and James.

[Blacklight]: …And?

[Meowth] (smiles devilishly) And I took the biggest piece.

[Jessie]: I knew it!

[James]: You truly are an evil, evil Pokémon!

[Blacklight]: And what about you, James? What devilish secrets are you hiding?

[James]: (contemplates) Well… there was that time I stole a bottle cap from the twerps. They were storing it in a trash can for safe keeping.

[Blacklight]: *gasps* You collect bottle caps too!?

[Shadow]: I thought you said you watched their show. Wouldn’t you know that already?

[James]: (leaps up) Yes! They truly are my passion in life!

[Blacklight]: And they’re so shiny!

[James]: What’s your rarest cap?

[Blacklight]: Well, I still have the cap off of the limited edition 2001 10th Anniversary Chao Cola.

[James]: No way! Mine is a 1996 Soda Pop Red and Green Edition.

[Jessie]: (under breath) Oh boy, another nerd…

[Shadow]: (under breath) You have no idea…

[Meowth]: Weren’t we supposed to be talking about evil?

[Blacklight]: Shut up, we’re having a moment.

[Shadow]: Maybe you should just ask the next question.

[Blacklight]: Fine, fine. Next question. If each of you were a Sonic character, what species would you be, and what powers would you have?

[James]: Oh, you want my self-insert OC? I would be Howl the Wolf. As the name implies, I strike terror into my opponents with my hyper howl. Not only am I handsome, I’m one of the world’s most feared and successful thieves.

[Meowth]: Are you sure that’s a self-insert?

[Blacklight]: Do you think you can do better, Meowth?

[Meowth]: Well, obviously I’d be a cat. Not a cat like Big, but like Blaze. I guess that means fire powers and all.

[Blacklight]: Fire? Didn’t see that one coming. Wouldn’t you rather have, like, luck powers or something?

[Meowth]: Sure, I’ll take that too!

[Blacklight]: And that leaves Jessie.

[Jessie]: Um… wouldn’t I just be Jessie the Hedgehog, or something?

[Meowth]: You certainly have the hair for it…

[James]: Come on Jessie, put more effort into it! Be creative! You can do anything you want! Not to mention, a hedgehog is the least creative animal you could pick.

[Blacklight]: Yeah, there are too many hedgehog characters on the internet already!

[Shadow]: …

[Jessie]: *shrugs*

[Blacklight]: Fine, be that way. What about you, Shadow?

[Shadow]: …

[Blacklight]: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Another hedgehog? I expected better of you, Shadow. I suppose that’s all for that, then. And I believe we have time for one more question. So. I hear you guys are making a game. I want in.

[Meowth]: That’s not a question…

[Blacklight]: Yep. It’s a demand.

[James]: Blacklight… buddy… the thing is… we’re not making a game…

[Blacklight]: What!? Of course you are! Did you not take control of Pokémon Sol Version when you took the website?

[James]: Oh yeah… forgot about that… Well… how do I put this…?

[Jessie]: We’re not in the business of making crossovers!

[Blacklight]: Who says it has to be a crossover? I can just be a normal, average, everyday character!

[Meowth]: You? Normal?

[Shadow]: Wouldn’t you rather be in a Sonic game? Where your important backstory can actually matter?

[Blacklight]: I’d love to. Unfortunately, SEGA isn’t hiring OC’s at the moment. Trust me, I checked.

[Shadow]: What about a fan game?

[Blacklight]: Wait…is that a thing?

[James]: Sure it is! Just like there’s Pokémon ones! They can be a little… unsavory at times… but I’m sure you could find one to your liking.

[Blacklight]: Boss…?

[Mr. C]: (offscreen) I’m not making you a fan game.

[Blacklight]: You suuuuuuure?

[Mr. C]: (offscreen) *sighs* Let’s just take this one year at a time, please.

[Blacklight]: So, is me being in Sol Version still on the table?

[James]: I’ll tell you what, we’ll name an NPC after you.

[Blacklight]: D’awww, you’d do that for me? You’re a great bro, you know that?

[James]: *extends fist*

[Blacklight]: *fist bumps gleefully* Wait, wait, now I need to do something for you. *reaches back* I want you to have this, bro.

[James]: No way! A Chao Cola bottle cap!? These aren’t even available in my world!

[Shadow]: (on laptop) Hey, did you mean to leave Wobbuffet alone with your Breath of the Wild account?

[Jessie]: What!? No! I don’t want that blue blob getting me more lost than I already am! Wait, how do you know?

[Shadow]: It’s streaming the game on your website. I didn’t know you could do that with a tree branch…

[Meowth]: We better get back and put a stop to this.

[Blacklight]: Well, our time’s just about up, anyways. See you later, bro!

[James]: Wait, how do we-

[Blacklight]: Chaos Control!

[Shadow]: (still on laptop)

[Blacklight]: Care to…sign us off, Shadow?

[Shadow]: Not really.

[Blacklight]: You enjoy taking my fun away, don’t you?

[Shadow]: Not really.

[Blacklight]: Ugh, fine. If you have questions for Team Rocket, or anyone else who’s appeared on the show today, leave them in the comments below!

Blacklight Answers the Hard Questions

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[Blacklight]: Alright, this’ll be a rapid-fire one. Shadow, are you all ready with the questions?

[Shadow]: I don’t understand the point of this.

[Blacklight]: These are questions that Sonic fans have been asking for years! Who better to answer them than someone who actually lives in that universe?

[Shadow]: I don’t see this going very well…

[Blacklight]: Well that’s your opinion! Hit me with the first question!

[Shadow]: Question 1: “Why can we see the entire moon when half of it was destroyed in Sonic Adventure 2?”

[Blacklight]: There is no moon. The moon is a hoax. It’s just a set piece. Next!

[Shadow]: Question 2: “Where does Sonic keep all of his rings?”

[Blacklight]: You don’t want to know.

[Shadow]: Question 3: “What do Sonic’s hands look like under his gloves?”

[Blacklight]: You thought those were gloves? Those are just his hands.

[Shadow]: Question 4: “Which story path is canon in Shadow the Hedgehog?”

[Blacklight]: It’s the one that leads to the secret twelfth ending, where Shadow learns that he’s actually a figment of Sonic’s imagination.

[Shadow]: That’s false.

[Blacklight]: Prove it.

[Shadow]: No thanks. Question 5: “What happened to Eggman’s appearance in Sonic ’06?”

[Blacklight]: One word. Diet and exercise.

[Shadow]: Question 6: “Where is–…” Oh, dear… “Where is that FOURTH Chaos Emerald?”

[Blacklight]: We’re still searching for it to this day.

[Shadow]: …Question 7: “Is Sonic Rivals canon? Is Sonic Spinball canon? Is Tails’ Adventure canon?” It…goes on for a while.

[Blacklight]: Yes, yes, and yes! Everything is canon! Sonic All Stars Racing is canon, Sonic’s Schoolhouse is canon, Sonic’s appearance in Pac Man is canon! What don’t you people understand about this!?

[Shadow]: Didn’t you write these questions?

[Blacklight]: Shut up and ask the next one.

[Shadow]: Question 8: “How did Sonic get his powers?”

[Blacklight]: Too much coffee.

[Shadow]: Question 9: “What exactly is the Lost Hex?”

[Blacklight]: It’s a lost hex, duh.

[Shadow]: Question 10: “How can Blaze be from the Future and the Sol Dimension?”

[Blacklight]: Well, according to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, time and space are actually one conglomerated concept known as time-space. If we look to M-theory, a subset of string theory, more specifically, superstring theory, we know that there are in fact 11 dimensions of space-time. There is no distinguishing between the spatial and temporal dimensions. To our simple three-dimensional perspective, 11-dimensional space can take on a multitude of interpretations, including other dimensional worlds coexisting within the same confines of space and time we live in. Given the duality of space-time, this other spatial dimension, which one might call another world, can also be referred to as another temporal dimension, which one might call the future. The equivalence of space and time means that these two very different concepts are in fact one and the same. The future is another world, another world is the future.

[Shadow]: …

[Blacklight]: What’s that look for? I said I was going to answer the questions, didn’t I?

[Shadow]: Right…well, that’s all of them.

[Blacklight]: Over so soon? That’s alright, I suppose. But what hard questions would you have wanted me to answer? Tell us in the comments below! Make sure to get those questions in in time for the Q&A session at the end of the day!

Villain Chat! with…Zavok?

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[Audience]: *applause*

[Blacklight]: Welcome back, everyone! Without wasting any more time, let’s give a big hand to our next guest, my muscly old friend, the Zeti you won’t forget-i, it’s, Zavok!

[Audience]: *applause*

[Bowser]: Bwargh!

[Shadow]: Umm…Blacklight? That’s not Zavok.

[Blacklight]: What? Of course it’s Zavok. Just look at him. He’s got the spiked bracelets, and the horns, and he grows huge and breathes fireballs…

[Shadow]: That’s King Bowser. From the Super Mario series.

[Audience]: *laughter*

[Blacklight]: Boss…?

[Mr. C] (offscreen) It’s…a bit hard to get ahold of Sonic villains on such short notice. I figured I’d get you the next best thing.

[Bowser]: Bwah ragh ragh!

[Blacklight]: I mean, I’m a fan of the Mario series, I just figured Zavok was trying out a new style. Well, as far as Sonic villains go, I suppose we could do worse.

[Bowser]: Bwargh?

[Shadow]: Still not a Sonic villain.

[Blacklight]: Of course he is! Haven’t you ever played Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games?

[Shadow]: You call that a Sonic game?

[Blacklight]: It’s a game published by SEGA with Sonic in the title. Doesn’t seem to take much else, with all the spinoffs out there… So anyways…how’re you doing tonight, Bowser?

[Bowser]: Bwargh!

[Blacklight]: What…what does that mean?

[Bowser]: Bwargh! Bwah ragh ragh!

[Blacklight]: Why are you just roaring? I know you’re capable of human speech, you spoke in Mario Sunshine.

[Bowser]: Bw–… Bwargh…

[Blacklight]: Well, we all have games we’d rather forget, now don’t we? Assuming…that’s what you said…

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(This has never been a problem before. Usually, people understand me just fine.)

[Blacklight]: Oh, subtitles! How convenient! Guess we can actually start the interview, then.

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(I’m ready! Hit me with the toughest question you’ve got!)

[Blacklight]: I hear you get beat all the time by some old plumber guy. What’s that all about?

[Shadow]: Given that you died, you’re hardly one to make fun of losing to the hero.

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(You clearly underestimate Mario. He may look like a weakling, but he could crumble a fortress with those powerful feet of his.)

[Blacklight]: Well, it helps to not rig said fortress to a self-destruct switch for him to step on.

[Bowser]: …

[Blacklight]: So, tell me a little bit about Zavok. You guys have met, right?

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(That’s right. We met at the Rio Olympics. At first, I was pretty mad that he ripped off my style, but he wears it well. I respect his strength.)

[Blacklight]: That reminds me. You guys had another Olympic outing this year, didn’t you? I didn’t play it. What’s it like?

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(You didn’t play it!? You’re a fan of Mario and Sonic, but you didn’t play the one rare game that has them both!?)

[Blacklight]: Yeah, I’ll stick to Smash Brothers. The Olympic Games always look like neat little party games, but I’m just not sure what I’d do with them after the first day. I don’t host a lot of parties. Certainly not a lot with guests who appreciate both Mario and Sonic.

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(Seems like this event could’ve been a pretty good opportunity. I would’ve played it with you…)

[Blacklight]: You don’t have a lot of friends back home, do you, Bowser?

[Bowser]: Bwargh…
(No…)

[Blacklight]: Regardless, I don’t think this event has the budget to fund a whole Nintendo Switch game. Hey boss, what’s our budget?

[Mr. C]: (offscreen) We don’t have a budget.

[Blacklight]: Exactly my point. You wanna play Sonic Forces instead? We already have that lying around, collecting dust.

[Bowser]: Bwargh…
(Not particularly…)

[Blacklight]: Oh, fine, we’ll just keep talking about your games, then. Personally, I was only thinking about buying into the 2020 Olympics because I wanted to see more of Shadow doing Gymnastics. Who knew he had such style and grace?

[Shadow]: …

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(Ha! I performed far better in the Gymnastic events than he did!)

[Blacklight]: Ooh, is that a challenge I hear? Who needs the game when we can recreate it right here in person?

[Shadow]: I will not do gymnastics for your personal pleasure.

[Blacklight]: What if I award a gold medal to the winner?

[Shadow]: You don’t have the budget for a gold medal.

[Blacklight]: What about a cardboard medal with gold paint?

[Shadow]: No.

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(What, are you scared to face me!? Worried you can’t out-handstand a one-ton fire-breathing turtle!? I will destroy you!)

[Blacklight]: No, he’s just being a buzzkill. As per usual. Wait, how do you ride a horse for the Equestrian events if you weigh that much?

[Shadow]: You shouldn’t demean yourself for him.

[Blacklight]: Fine, fine, no live competition, then. Keep disappointing our fans, why don’t you? Let’s move on to our next question. How do I get in on the next Olympics? I want to prove my superiority to Shadow in front of the entire world.

[Shadow]: Tch.

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(Well, it would help to be in an actual Sonic game, first.)

[Blacklight]: Yeah, sure, let me just call up SEGA and ask them if they’re hiring OCs for the next Sonic game. But I was thinking…if I were to become one of Bowser’s minions…

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(My minions don’t tend to get invited to the Olympics.)

[Blacklight]: Good point. Maybe I ought to rethink this… I just really want to be in a game.

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(Also, if you were to become a minion, you would be required by contract to throw yourself to Mario’s mercy. It’s not a very good gig.)

[Blacklight]: Okay, okay, I’ll stay out of your army if you think it’s that bad…

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(I’m just being honest. We villains have to look out for each other.)

[Blacklight]: Really? I heard you and Eggman don’t get along very well.

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(Eggman!? Is that wretched scientist here!?)

[Eggman]: (offscreen) Uh, no no, Eggman definitely isn’t here hiding out and waiting for his chance to make another cameo…

[Bowser]: Bwargh!
(I will destroy you!)

[Blacklight]: Bowser, no, that couch is flammable–

Technical Difficulties

[Blacklight]: (in front of flaming couch) If you have any questions for Bowser, or any of our other guests today, don’t forget to leave them in the comments below!

Come Join the Eggman Empire!

[Shadow]: Posting an outdated propaganda video, Eggman?

[Eggman]: What, I didn’t have time to put anything new together when I learned that Blacklight was away on that other website.

[Shadow]: He’s not going to be happy about this…

Caught on Camera: Blacklight’s Phone Call

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[Blacklight]: Hello? Hello, yes?

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Yes, I’d like to purchase some evil ham*, please.

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Yes, I know it’s sold out, but this is very important.

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Because I’m a celebrity!

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: My name is Blacklight. I’m the Ultimate Life Form.

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Never heard of me!? I’m hosting a talk show right now! Right this second!

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: No, I should not be getting back to that, this is much more important!

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Make my own?

[Phone]: … … … … … … … … … … … …

[Blacklight]: Liquid paper? That doesn’t sound safe for consumption…

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Yes, I suppose that would make it more evil.

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Look, how about you just get your boss, and tell him that this is a special request from Blacklight? He’ll know who I am.

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Dr. Eggman. The guy who makes the evil ham.

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Mike Pollock? No, his name is Ivo Robotnik. From Sonic Boom. At least, I think that’s still his name in that universe…

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Oh, so you’re the celebrity now, Mr. Pollock? Well why haven’t I heard of you?

[Phone]: … … …

[Blacklight]: Fine! I don’t want your stupid ham anyways! *hangs up* The nerve of some people…

[Eggman]: (offscreen) Blacklight is right. You really are no fun.

[Blacklight]: Did someone say my name?


*Yes, evil ham is a real trademarked thing. You’re welcome. https://www.itsamike.com/shop/evilham 

Villain Chat! with Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik

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[Audience]: *applause*

[Blacklight]: Thank you, thank you, and welcome back to Villain Chat! Now, while we’ll be doing a lot more than just this little talk show today, I thought I’d keep the theme going for now. So let’s kick things right off by introducing our next guest! Shadow, would you like to do the honors?

[Shadow]: It’s Eggman.

[Blacklight]: Oh, come on, you can do better than that! Put a little pizzazz into it! *clears throat* Our next guest, though notoriously difficult to get ahold of for interviews—

[Shadow]: He knocked on our door and begged on his hands and knees to be on the show.

[Blacklight]: *clears throat more forcefully* Our legendary guest has been duking it out as a Sonic villain for near-on thirty years now! He plays by his own rules and conquers the world with his own tools, he is the egg-shaped man with the master plan, the one, the only, Mustache Junior!

[Audience]: *applause*

[Eggman]: Just call me Eggman.

[Blacklight]: Now, you guys remember the rules, right? I don’t want to hear about any sort of Empire versus Rebellion stuff. This is a war-free zone.

[Eggman]: But of course.

[Shadow]: Whatever.

[Blacklight]: Great! So how’re you doing tonight, MJ?

[Eggman]: Quite well, thank you for asking. Always happy for a chance to address my many adoring fans.

[Audience]: *applause*

[Blacklight]: Well then, let’s get started. Your name has become practically synonymous with the word “evil.” What’s it like, being one of the most famous fictional villains of all time?

[Eggman]: Oh, please, you flatter me. I just do what any good villain would do.

[Shadow]: You mean, mindlessly pursuing the destruction of your adversary without any concern for the fact that you’ve abandoned all other dreams and ideals within your life, unaware that you’ll be left with a meaningless existence if you should ever succeed?

[Eggman]: Ha! If only you knew my true motives… Heh heh heh…

[Blacklight]: Ooh, nice villainous chuckle. I need to work on mine. Whenever I try, I always end up breaking out into complete hysteria.

[Eggman]: Nothing wrong with that. It’s important to take ownership of your own evil laugh.

[Blacklight]: Good point. Ah ha ha ha ha!

[Eggman]: Oh ho ho!

[Blacklight]: AH HA HA HA HA!!

[Eggman]: OH HO HO!!

[Shadow]: What am I doing here…?

[Blacklight]: Oh, don’t be such a sourpuss. Your evil laugh isn’t so bad, you know.

[Shadow]: I do not have an evil laugh.

[Blacklight]: Don’t you? Roll the clip!

[Eggman]: Ooh, that’s a pretty good one, Shadow.

[Shadow]: Why do you have these clips pre-prepared? And WHY IS IT STILL PLAYING!?

[Audience]: *laughter*

[Blacklight]: It goes on for over ten minutes. And I have a wall full of these clips at home. I’ve been spying on you, remember?

[Shadow]: How could I forget…?

[Eggman]: Well, you should probably shut off that clip, now. I might get nightmares if it keeps up much longer…

[Blacklight]: Fine, fine. So let’s move on to our next question, then. As will become the tradition here on Villain Chat, I’d like to talk a little bit about the most recent episode of The Chaos Project. (Better pause what you’re doing and read it now, if you haven’t already.) In this case, that would be the Premiere episode of Season 2, featuring—spoiler alert!—the triumphant return of yours truly.

[Shadow]: For five minutes in an alternate timeline.

[Blacklight]: (gritting teeth) It still counts!

[Eggman]: I had quite a substantial role in this episode as well.

[Blacklight]: Exactly what I was getting ready to ask you about. A spotlight for Eggman has been rather rare in The Chaos Project. How’d it feel to finally stretch your legs again?

[Eggman]: Oh, it was so much more than that. Throughout the show, I’ve always been relegated this dark and serious emperor-of-the-world role, which certainly looks good on me, but it never really lets me show off my fun, humorous side. But for once, in this episode, the situation was so dark and depressing without my influence that I was actually able to provide some comic relief. And relieving it certainly was.

[Shadow]: I also got to drag you, bound and gagged, through the dirt. That was pretty fun.

[Eggman]: Well, sometimes a bit of humiliation is necessary to strike the right comedic balance.

[Blacklight]: Just don’t humiliate yourself too much. You don’t want to end up like Boom Eggman.

[Eggman]: Hey, don’t be so hard on the guy. Have you tried his evil ham?

[Blacklight]: Wait…are you saying that’s an actual thing? Like, that I can buy?

[Eggman]: Well, I believe it’s sold out now, but yes.

[Blacklight]: Hold on, I need to make a phone call.

[Shadow]: Wait, don’t…leave me alone with him…

[Eggman]: So…guess it’s just you and me now, eh, Shadow old buddy?

[Shadow]: …

[Eggman]: So…why don’t you talk about your role in the episode?

[Shadow]: Oh. Well…this episode was certainly a very interesting one for me. Getting to work with Chaos again is always a pleasure, and for this one scene, they actually put three of me all in the same room. One of them was the hero, one of them was the villain, and the third had no idea what was going on. It was fun, but it was also very meaningful. I think it has the potential to take my character into some pretty interesting directions.

[Eggman]: I see. You should ask me a question, now.

[Shadow]: Okay, umm…

[Eggman]: Go on.

[Shadow]: No, I got nothing.

[Eggman]: Blacklight is right. You really are no fun.

[Blacklight]: Did someone say my name?

[Shadow and Eggman]: AHH!!

[Blacklight]: Why, yes, I would love to talk about my role in the episode. During my brief time on screen, I managed to show off a godly level of power never seen previously in Sonic history, wiping out all life on the face of the Earth. Then I manipulated Sonic and Shadow into fighting each other, killed them both anyways, and killed Eggman for good measure.

[Eggman]: Oh yeah. That part wasn’t as much fun…

[Shadow]: And suddenly, I don’t feel like such a monster anymore.

[Blacklight]: Welp, that’s all the time we have for this segment! MJ will have to be leaving now, but he’ll be back for our Q&A session at the end of the day! Don’t forget to leave your questions for him in the comments below!

[Eggman]: Leaving!? But I barely got to answer any questions!

[Blacklight]: Goodbye, Doctor.

[Eggman]: B-but I can stay and co-host with you guys! I can—

[Blacklight]: I said, goodbye, Doctor!

[Mr. C]: (offscreen) Blacklight, no, don’t—

Technical Difficulties

[Eggman]: NOOOOOOOO!!!!